Brave

I've had a bad week. I know...it happens to everyone. But if you struggle with anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and the propensity to be bogged down by self-pity (like me); a bad week can turn into a nightmare that you can't escape from. Even the simplest of tasks (like getting out of bed) becomes nearly impossible to force yourself to do. Then there are those difficult tasks that even on a good week you would sweat over. Like studying for that huge test, completing the unrelenting mound of Spanish memorization, and writing a paper when you are way behind on the prep work....I could go on, but you get the picture.

So a bad week turns hard, then impossible, then awful...and then the guilt sets in. Our motto when things get tough is Nike's "just do it!" But saying that a million times in the week can cause it to lose its effectiveness.

You have to work so hard to convince yourself to complete these awful hard things that should be easy. Ah...should be...that's when the guilt comes...or the self-pity. You may start to think things like this: "I hate that things gets so hard for me; I wish my weaknesses didn't exist." Or "No one understands why this is so hard for me so they are judging me." Ever sound like that? I do......a lot. So I wrote this in a moment of deep self-pity and spiritual angst. It isn't supposed to be a theological antidote. It's just my emotional response to this week, pure and simple. Maybe you can relate. Your trial may not look like mine, but you may be going through something that is very difficult for you. And you may be thinking that no one knows what its like; that no one understands. That even God seems distant from your pain. But is that really true?


Do they see me being brave;
Those people that pass by?
Do they see me fighting voices,
That tare me till I cry?
Do they understand the darkness;
Do they look upon my chains?
Can they feel the shaking weakness,
That causes constant pain?
Do they see me being brave?

Does He see me being brave,
My Savior who seems lost?
Does He count the tear stained hours;
See the heart that's tempest tossed?
Can He teach me while I lie here?
Can He Redeem the pain?
Does my Savior still stay watching,
Will He come and will He save?
Does He see me being brave?

Did I see Him being brave,
That same One long ago?
When He took on all my filth;
When He walked that blood stained road?
Can I now shift all my focus;
Can I look right in His face?
Have faith in His whole purpose;
Submit to all His ways?
Do I see Him who is brave?


If you need more encouragement, go listen to this song by Jeremy Camp, called "He Knows": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsccUg4TDd8

Dear Daughter

Unrepentant sinner run,
To the nail scarred hands held out.
Reach in faith past all your doubts;
Let His grace sing in you now.
Let your stubborn pride fall silent,
Grasp the path He lays before you.
Hold no longer to your sin;
Run in, dear daughter, run in.

Unbelieving child come kneel,
At the feet of Him who calls.
Listen to His voice and teaching;
Let His words redeem your fall.
Embrace the tender truths He gives.
Don't let self-pity within you live.
Let your faith renew your grasp;
Hold fast, dear daughter, hold fast.

Repent! Believe! These things dear child,
I'm telling you to do.
But one more thing I'd have you know,
To understand the glue.
You know that God is calling you
To run and to hold fast.
That same dear Lord reminds you too,
That He is first and last.
His sacrifice and binding love
Will keep you in His fold.
And none can ever take from Him
His precious daughter's soul.

Emptied and Filled

Emptied and Filled

By Melanie Porter

My heart, my life, my treasured piece

Was taken in a blast.

I cried and fell and shivered

In the coldness that enwrapped.

My being, my entire self, lay breathless and undone.

I reached my fist toward Heaven,

And raged and cried and hung.

Then all at once I looked around and grasped what I had left.

“No more to trust thy sovereign hand,

I’ll fix this all myself.”

I tied up all the pieces and shoved away my God

And only fell and only fell

Further in the fog.

Foolish was I and my efforts in vain,

For try as I could and shove as I may,

My God right there He stood.

He sheltered me and cared for my needs

While all the time I fought Him.

He waited and watched as I fell to my knees

Breathless again and thwarted.

“I have wasted my days, I have spent all I have,

I have sinned my God before Thee.”

Then He opened my eyes and gave me new strength

And showed me all His mercy.

He brought me in close and whispered my name

And held me oh so tightly.

He showed me once more His scars and His pain

And helped me see Him rightly.

This God I had known the whole of my life

Came in close and taught me much more.

“My God now I see I must trust You alone,

I must trust You only, only.

I must trust You now, I must trust You then,

I must trust You fully, fully.

You emptied not my hands just now

To only see me suffer.

The only goal You had in mind

Was to fill me up with better.

And now as I go back again to all my work and pressure,

I pray dear God, I plead with You,

Oh, please protect this treasure.

  

Faith:vs:Fear

What is fear?

Something that tells us we can’t.

Something that ties us down and keeps us from everything good we try to do.

It chokes us.

It laughs at us.

It cripples us with one whisper.

It drains every ounce of faith from us slowly like a dripping faucet.

It mocks our every effort to get back up.

It is Satan’s lie.

When God speaks, fear says no!

What is faith?

Something that gives us the courage to believe the truth.

Something that holds our head above the water.

It gives us hope.

It brings us healing.

It emboldens us with one word.

It dispels all fear like a powerful fire hose.

It strengthens us.

It is God’s truth.

When Satan speaks, faith says no!

Why I Entered the "Blog World"

When things hurt. When we need comfort. When pain chokes us in the night. When bitterness and doubt overwhelms us in the day. When we are frail. When we are faithless. When we are tempted.

We need the One who is enough.

As He comforts me and teaches me these things, I'd like to share them. I'd like to be open about the nitty gritty walk I'm on. I have found refuge in privately writing about these things and now I'd like to let you not only see my storm, but also let you share my shelter.

Who knows how God might use this.
  
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵ For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. " -2 Cor 1:3-5