So that disqualifies me.
Faithful? No...I have faltered in unbelief. I have avoided the hard questions. I have avoided spending time in His Word. I have looked to broken cisterns to satisfy my longing. I have forsaken the fountain of living water. Faithful...not me.
Joyful? No...I have sunk down into grief and self-pity. I cuddle up to misery like its my only friend. Ungrateful and hopeless. Refusing to lift my eyes. Joyful...not me.
Triumphant? No...I haven’t won the battles. I’ve let the enemy right into the camp. I have given him footholds in my heart by the ways I have continued to keep area’s unsurrendered to the Lord. I have those besetting sins, that I have given over to again and again. Triumphant...not me.
So come? No I don’t think I will. I won’t come. I can’t. I have no right to visit the scene angels sing of. I don’t belong there.
That is how I have been feeling all week. Hurting deeply and driving myself further and further away. I was in the “Christmas” spirit for a while there...before these last two weeks...but then I screwed up terribly. I lost it. I became unfaithful, depressed, and defeated.
And honestly, I want to come...but that song keeps rolling through my head. And I look at the way I have acted...And I start pushing away again.
So where’s the hope in all of this? What you might be thinking is grace, grace...right? You need to come and be forgiven and cleansed. But that’s not enough. I’m still disqualified. I’m still not faithful, joyful, or triumphant. Even in repentance, all that happens is removal of sin. I’m still not on the guest list.
If I were to show up, I would need to be under someone else’s name. I would need to take on their labels of faithful, joyful, and triumphant. Because I have none of my own. But really nobody would let me do that. And even if they would let me come in their place, nobody really carries all those labels. So it’s impossible.
But then I read this promise from John 6:37... “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.”
So, trembling...I come. What else can I do? Where else can I turn to? I have to come.
And you know what? The Lord of the feast has provided for me already. He takes me, and sets upon me the labels of faithful, joyful, and triumphant. But where did they come from? From His pierced hands and wounded sides. I see He gave His life, to clothe me in His precious righteousness. He purchased those labels for me. And only in Him can I ever hope to be clothed like that.
So the amazing truth is, we have to come just as we are...and the King of Kings transforms us Himself...He places on us the titles that allow us to remain. He is Faithful, Joyful, and Triumphant...and in Him…so am I now too.
So dear friend...together, lets take our eyes off ourselves...right now. Let's rejoice in the hope He has provided.
O, come let us adore Him...
