Five Minute Friday Link up: Breathe

Breathe.

Like a calm reminder making its way into my heart today.

Breathe.

Be still, and know that I am God.

Breathe.

Let every fear, doubt, worry, pain, grief, and sorrow...rest here.

Your breath belongs to Me, child.

And I will carry you safely under My wings.

Breathe.

And trust Me.

Breathe.

And follow Me.

Even if it doesn't make sense.

Even if you find the path difficult.

Even if you lose sight of Me for just a little while.

I haven't left you, child.

I am in the midst of all of this.

And I will never leave you.

So breathe.

http://katemotaung.com/2017/02/02/five-minute-friday-breathe-lisa-jo-baker/

Dear Memories

Dear memories, I can't decide

if you are friend or foe.

Whether I can let you stay with me,

Or somehow force you to go.

One minute I feel the warmth you provide,

the glimpse back into better times.

The next I feel your sting cut deep,

pressing hot tears to fill my eyes.

The aftertaste brings the lump to my throat.

Remembering has a high cost.

The sting is re-tasting, re-feeling, re-living...

The pain, the hurt, and the loss.

Mingled inside treasured thoughts

of the past,

Is always that bite

that those times couldn't last.

The grief of the loss

is revisited here.

The shadow of loved ones

who no longer appear.

So memories, I can't decide

if you are friend or foe.

Whether I can let you stay with me,

or somehow force you to go.

But when I can't remember,

that is painful too.

When fractured pictures tease my mind

And I can't remember you.

When I lose the sound of your sweet voice.

When I forget the way you smiled,

And the warmth found in your hugs,

All trapped by haze within my mind.

But this, my hope, is still!

That memories on earth 

don't need to be consuming.

For in Your plan You will,

Our Heavenly Father be.

And tune our hearts 

the more each day

to think on eternity.

In His Arms

I run, I sin,

I fall apart.

Coldness and numbness

fill my heart.

Am I safe in His arms?

Temptations come knocking

to kill and destroy;

To entice me away, and

to claw at my joy.

Am I safe in His arms?

Fear mocks and derides me.

Pride scoffs and it scorns.

No sympathy comes,

but only more thorns.

Am I safe in His arms?

The doubts and the fears

make their case very well.

My head wants to listen,

my eyes with tears swell.

Am I safe in His arms?

How easy it would be

to doubt all He's done.

To go my own way

and again from Him run.

My hands at their ready,

heart planning to flee.

I don't want to listen,

I just want relief.

But then I look up.

And I see there His face.

I stop and I beg Him

to answer me this.

Am I safe in His arms?

Instead of harsh words

or the firmest reproof,

He opens my eyes--

gently whispers His truth.

He shows me the scars

That prove what He's done--

suffered and bled

as the innocent One.

These hands I now questioned,

These same were stretched far

to pay for my sins and

lift judgment from bar.

This same sovereign Lord

that I doubt and mistrust;

had planned this whole rescue--

redemption, for us.

He tells me I'm loved.

He tells me I'm safe.

That nothing, no nothing,

can outweigh His grace.

My heart still in turmoil

But still on my knees;

looks again at these truths

And for help from Him pleas.

To trust Him alone

I still could not do.

No matter how hard

I stared at the truth.

I see that You love me

I cried out in tears.

But still I fought hard,

and clung to my fears.

Am I safe in His arms?

Then He bent down again

and did something quite strange.

He wounded me, broke me

and put me in pain.

Not vicious or vengeful

was this touch of His.

More tearful and knowing--

A mark of His grace.

For this wound He inflicted,

made me fall apart.

It made my pride crumble.

It softened my heart.

And then without feeling

My questions full hope;

I found myself forced,

to reach out for truth's rope.

I looked up again

And saw what I'd missed.

I was in His arms.

And I am His. 

Waiting on the Lord

I wait.

For a sign or reason--

some kind of push.

I wait.

For a hope or joy,

or a small breath behind me.

But I am still weak,

I am still doubting,

I am still scared

of things crashing around me.

Is this really the spot You want me to be?

Is courage the wrong thing to say that I need?

So here I am crying,

But turning to You.

Not knowing the answers,

But knowing You do.

Learning to trust

with the weight still upon me.

Learning to walk

while it's still dark and cloudy.

Learning to hope

when it's all still a strain.

Knowing You love me

That You know my frame.

Nothing is easy

right here in this place.

Here where I must

simply cry out for grace.

Trust through the pain.

Faith while it rains.

Here while I'm waiting,

for You.

Hand in Hand

It starts

The first wave breaking

past my head.

My soul knocked down,

My heart in dread.

The next wave pushes

even more--

My feet in chaos

My lungs are sore.

The next wave crashes

like glass on tile.

It shatters my hold.

It sets me on fire.

Again, again, again

they break,

over my soul,

there is no wake.

Again, again, again

I drowned.

Trapped in the water.

Ripped from the ground.

Then all at once

I look up and see

Someone walking--

coming straight towards me.

It is my Savior,

And I cry out His name!

He reaches His hand out

As the waves fall again.

Then as I clasp my hand

right in His--

I find somehow all of

the noise grows dim.

Because all of a sudden

I'm fixed on His face--

Caught by His love.

Held by His grace.

The waves are still there

infact stronger still.

But I'm not forsaken,

I am not killed.

Instead I am walking

still tightly in hand,

with the God of the sea

with the ruler of man.

And He holds me still

And I watch His face.

And kneel during battle

And sing of His grace.

"...We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed..." 2 Cor 4:8a

Both Healed and Released

The Hem, the hem,

Only the hem.

Can’t let Him see me;

Can't let Him in.

I know He can heal me;

I know I'll be cleansed.

But I can't bring my filth here;

I'm unclean within.

The hem, the hem,

Only the hem.

Can't let Him see me;

Can't let Him in.

I press through the crowds,

I sneak my hand in.

I reach for His garment;

I search for His hem.

Then suddenly feeling,

Deep from within,

A sudden while cleansing--

A new hope begin.

I shrink away quickly,

Content with this lift.

I got what I came for,

His healing was swift.

The hem, the hem,

Only the hem.

Can't let Him see me;

Can't let Him in.

“Who touched me?”

He questions, as I start to shake.

He knows what has happened,

I can't run away.

I kneel down and tremble,

I tell of if it all.

How I dared not to bother;

Just sought secret balm.

Then He looked at me closely,

He softened His face.

He spoke the word “daughter”

And outpoured His grace.

“Your Faith, it has healed you,

Go now in Peace.”

And I am His child now

Healed AND released.

See its not enough only

To seek out release;

Or to want only healing

And miss the real peace.

The Savior will call you

Out of your dark hole.

He’'ll hold you and teach you

That there’s so much more.

Within the word “daughter”

The true secret lay.

A heart fully captured

And thankful to stay.

Facing Loss Again

The news breaks over me as I read the words on my phone screen.

I stop.

I read again.

Confused.

I read again.

In pain.

I read again.

As if reading it more would change the words and end the bad dream.

I close the phone.

I close my eyes.

And I face loss again.

I start to look for something to do.

Someone to tell. Something to fix it.

But I stop and instead move forward with my day. 

And now I sit.

And now I face loss again.

I've walked a similar path before.

I have met this strange thief.

The sorrow and pain of something you cherish being ripped from your hands.

And now I face loss again.

Before when I faced it.

I turned right from God.

I blamed Him and shook my fist at His so called care.

I turned to myself to take over His throne and I found sin to numb me instead.

And now I face loss again.

Before when I faced it.

I doubted His love.

I called Him a liar--I told Him I'm done.

Done trusting in Him and done believing His Word. 

And now I face loss again.

Is it different this time?

Am I still wanting to run?

Is it different this time?

In my heart will I turn from the Holy One?

The One who in all things has kept me in Him.

Who has sheltered and held me even when.

I spat on Him, mocked Him, and rebelled form His Word.

I hated Him, and used every pain He allowed as fuel to judge Him a liar.

As He emptied my hands--I balled them in fists.

I fought and I clamored.

His care did resist.

And where has it gotten me?

My first taste of pain.

My rebellion left me empty.

Soaked through with hard rain.

And now I face loss again.

Will I run or will I stay?

Whose voice will I choose to follow today?